When I Am Through With You by Stephanie Kuehn
Published by: Penguin Random House/Dutton Books
Date of Publication: August 1st 2017
Genres: YA Thriller/Mystery/Suspense
Pages: 304
Format: eGalley
“This isn’t meant to be a confession. Not in any spiritual sense of the word. Yes, I’m in jail at the moment. I imagine I’ll be here for a long time, considering. But I’m not writing this down for absolution and I’m not seeking forgiveness, not even from myself. Because I’m not sorry for what I did to Rose. I’m just not. Not for any of it.”
Ben Gibson is many things, but he’s not sorry and he’s not a liar. He will tell you exactly how what started as a simple school camping trip in the mountains ended the way it did. About who lived and who died. About who killed and who had the best of intentions. And he’ll tell you about Rose. But he’s going to tell you in his own time. Because after what happened on that mountain, time is the one thing he has plenty of.
Let’s just start by getting this out of the way….I LOOOOOOOVED this book!!!! Ok, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system I’ll tell you why 😉
In what I found to be a unique form of story telling, our MC Ben is telling us this story as he sits in Jail which is disclosed in the very beginning & in the synopsis (no spoilers here lol). This had me asking all sorts of questions & all of the answers made this one story i’ll find hard to forget. From the opening pages, Ben Gibson starts off by recounting the day he met Rose. He’s automatically infatuated with everything about this gorgeous girl who seems too mature to be in High School. Even more unlikely is Rose approaching him and making him her boyfriend. Make no mistake, Rose doesn’t ask she tells him they are now in a relationship. This pretty much sets the tone for this story, both are complex characters for very different reasons. Ben is someone who comes from a toxic home environment & Rose is the polar opposite but she has her own dark passenger. Ben is part of the schools Orienteering class where you are taught all there is to know about camp, survival, map & compass reading. This is one thing that makes Ben feel good about himself and there isn’t much of that in his life. We’re introduced to the other students in the class who all fall into the cliques we’ve all seen form in High School. Ben however, is the teachers right hand man and he sort of leads the class whether they like it or not. They prepare to go on one class trail exploring trip with Ben spear heading while their teacher supervises. Ben, a character who likes to be in control of every variable has his doubts about whether he can successfully lead. He has no idea how justified his doubts really are. This book might have played out like one of those movies we’ve probably all seen where campers get lost in the woods & everything that can go wrong DOES go wrong. The thing is with so many players on the board having their own personal demons, it eliminates all predictability. I was HOOKED! this tale is DARK and twisted, it will make you question our MC who is also narrating since this is first person POV. It will have you looking at every character with a mean side eye lol & ultimately leave you shook!
Without getting into too many specifics, I can tell you this isn’t your ordinary cast of High School students. They each have secrets, some are manipulative, and others think they are better off than they really are. Ben Gibson isn’t like any MC I’ve ever come across in YA or even Adult Fiction for that matter. I wondered whether he was a unreliable character or just dead inside. It seemed like he couldn’t catch a break at times & others left me wondering if certain events cemented his fate. I found his story to be tragic and he surprised me when I read the last line in this book with a tear streaked face. I was left wondering what could’ve been if life had dealt him a different set of cards & not just him. All of the characters seemed lost inside & they kept me invested in this story. I NEEDED to know how and why. It’s been so long since I’ve come across characters that leave me thinking of them after I’ve read the last page.
GRIPPING! DARK! TWISTED! I’ve read other YA thrillers but NONE like this before. Yes I have already added this authors other books to my TBR, I’m definitely going to need more from where this came from lol. I inhaled this book similarly to how my read of Mary Kubica’s Every Last Lie went last month…to the very early hours of the morning. Although we are given the end game in the beginning with Ben sitting in jail, how he got there is one MESSED up story you can’t possibly see forming til you’ve been given the final piece. I think writing this story in first person POV worked so well in giving us a sense of what Ben does & does not feel. Being in his head isn’t the easiest but that only heightened my interest. You really shouldn’t expect to like any of these characters, they don’t even like themselves but know you’re in for one hell of a sick ride! I was surprised to see on Goodreads that this is a start to a series & would love to know if the next book will have us following a new set of characters or the same. My guess is that it’s going to be one of those series where each book stands on its own but it any of you know please let me know down in the comments.
*HUGE thanks to Penguin Random House/Dutton Books and Stephanie Kuehn for this eGalley in exchange for an honest review
Hello Readers! happy FRIYAYYYY! AYYY! hope you’re all enjoying this day & getting ready to start your weekends. Have any of you read When I Am Through With You? if so, how bout those feels? eh? haha!
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Great review for this book Lilly. 🙂 I’ve read books that have a gripping opening like this, Ben in jail telling his story in this book. The most recent thriller I read the opening line was the MC telling the readers she’s a murdered and from that line I was hooked.
I’m glad you enjoyed this book as well. It sounds like an incredible thriller and just from what you’ve said about the opening I’m already partially hooked and need to know what happens next. I may have to add this to my to-read list! 😀 ❤
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Thank you Beth! eeeeeK! I love books that start off in a less than traditional manner, they make for the most interesting reads. If you don’t mind me asking, What is the name is the book you read from the victims POV? this book kept me flipping pages all through the night smh, so good! lol.
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That’s all right. 🙂 Yes they really do don’t they.
I’ve just realised I put murdered instead of murderer. I got a little confused when you mentioned the victim’s POV and had to go back and read my earlier comment. Should really spell check a little more thoroughly.
The book was S.T.A.G.S, literally the first sentence is the MC telling us she’s a murderer. It really grabbed my attention. 😀
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ahHHHH! Ok! I’m not even gonna lie, this makes it much more interesting lol. Thanks for the rec Beth, checking this one out for sure 🙂
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That’s all right, I’ll be keeping an eye out for your Mask of Shadows review. I reckon you’ll get around to it before I do! 😀
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This sounds AMAZING, Lilly! I absolutely have to read this! 🤗🤗🤗
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Thank you Krysti! OHMYGOSH you so do! lol, it will keep you flipping pages til the end 😉
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Awesome! I’m really trying to work it into my TBR for this year!
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Oh I hope so! Also good as a palette cleanser, I get genre burnout & thrillers always help 😉
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Glad you liked it! I liked the beginning, but I completely lost interest after the climax of the story. I’ll still probably check out the author’s other books.
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Thank you & OoOo I hate when that happens lol, hope you have better luck with her other books 😉
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OK, I’m getting this for sure!
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Yes Lourdes! great for when you’re in the mood for a change of pace with a quick thriller. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did 🙂
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Thank you!
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Defo putting this on my TBR!
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Awesome Emily! hope you enjoy when you get around to it 🙂
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This sounds like a very thrilling read! I’ve been hearing great things about this book. I’m glad you loved it! I hope I’ll get to read it soon! 🙂
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Thanks Raven! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did 😃
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Great review! I love seeing that you’re making a dent in your ARCs– Keep up the great work, Lilly!
This is a new book to me– I haven’t heard of it before. I am REALLY intrigued by your review. You did a great job hooking me and leaving me wanting more. Are you sure you aren’t a professional yet? 😉 But seriously, you are making me want to read thrillers– and I just don’t read thrillers.
Did you figure it out before the ending? Or were you shocked to the end?
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Thank you Jackie! ☺️I’ve been going hard on Arc August to get them out in time for publication. I don’t read that many thrillers even though I really have enjoyed the ones I’ve read. Mostly I like to use them as palette cleansers whenever I feel like I’m burning out on a genre lol. The book starts off with the killers confession and then chronicles everything that happened during the 5 days the students were lost on their hike. I wasn’t sure of what led to him killing Rose and that was where it became a real page turner. He seemed a bit detached from feelings because of his injury to the brain but he still knew right from wrong. It’s def worth a read if you’re in the mood for a thriller/suspense 😉
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I like the idea of using Thrillers as a palette cleanser. I’ll keep that in mind! Do you find genre burn-out happens often for you? I think I’m just reading such a wide variety of books in the first place I never have run into that. *shrugs* Who knows!
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I used to read a variety of books but I def have been sticking to Fantasy this year. next year I’ll probably be taking a difference approach with my reading but for now I take breaks in btwn.
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Haha– I completely understand that. It’s strange how we end up in trends and we don’t even realize it sometimes, right? I found that I read a lot of memoirs last year, but this year I’ve barely touched them. Strange.
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